


Lux Solis

by Lkcsi



Series: Radiant Stars [8]
Category: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Budding Fluri, M/M, Mild Gore, auditory hallucinations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24249790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lkcsi/pseuds/Lkcsi
Summary: Flynn only realizes he's in love with Yuri only after Yuri went missing. He tries dealing with love and grief.
Relationships: Flynn Scifo/Yuri Lowell
Series: Radiant Stars [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1737949
Comments: 1
Kudos: 53





	Lux Solis

**Author's Note:**

> And now we come to the fic that kickstarted the creation of the Radiant Stars AU. This one is the fic that was *heavily* inspired by "Hoshikira" by Nakajima Megumi as Ranka Lee in Macross Frontier. This was a fun fic to do.

Zaude's events were a blur. 

Flynn took the blast Alexei meant to kill Yuri, he took that shot to protect Yuri. And then Yuri charged at Alexei, and Flynn knew Yuri knew he was okay, he could handle it, he was being tended to by people who could heal him. Captain Schw- Raven had shot him with a healing spell, and he was back on his feet in moments, in spite of the stinging pain on his chest. His armor had absorbed most of the blast, but it still singed the skin underneath.

Then Yuri was just missing, as if he vanished into thin air the very moment Dein Nomos struck the traitor down. Upon finding that Yuri was gone, Flynn relived for the briefest of moments that time in the Lower Quarter when his best friend had almost been dead from the venom of a sewer monster.

Then Repede picked up Yuri's scent and led him and Yuri's friends to the ledge opposite from where he and the others had run off too, and when Repede looked over the ledge and down the water, whined, and circled the very same spot anxiously, Flynn stared down at the water, not quite wanting to believe what the dog meant with his uneasy gestures.

_Impossible._

Yuri couldn't have fallen off. He couldn't have... he couldn't have fallen off and died. Flynn's breathing tightened as he squinted, searching for a black dot in the expanse of blue ocean.

_No!_

Instantly he'd barked out orders to every single knight he could see to look for Yuri, to sweep every nook and cranny for him, to dive into the water to search for even a strand of his hair, everything. His mind instantly became hyperfocused on Yuri's disappearance that it took every single one of Yuri's friends to remind him he had duties to fulfill as Acting Commandant. Lady Estellise pleaded and begged. Raven even dispatched his Schwann Brigade to look for Yuri instead of the entirety of the armed forces, and Flynn just begrudgingly agreed, throwing himself to those duties instead in a desperate attempt to block out the dread of Yuri's disappearance. 

Repede dutifully tailed him, following his human's most beloved and most trusted friend.

Come the night, Flynn shed himself of his armor, and as he sat on his bed the panic came. When he laid down to close his eyes and try to rest, he couldn't stop imagining, seeing, the body of Yuri, faded and gray, drifting in seawater, to the point he couldn't distinguish the terror of sleep from his waking imagination. He felt lightheaded, and whenever he moved, he felt as if he were caught in violently swirling air. Fortunately Repede was just beside him, staying with him like a constant, rubbing his muzzle on Flynn's face until he could somewhat calm down. His heart thumped in his chest so much he felt nauseous but not enough to empty his stomach, and even when he hauled himself to his desk to immerse his mind in his obligations supposedly for the next day, there was no true relief. He'd only crawl to bed once he was completely sure that his head hitting his pillow would instantly knock him out. Sometimes he wasn't able to make it to bed at all, that when the morning rays of the sun shone on him, he'd find himself either sprawled on the floor or asleep on his desk, still in his garb from the night before.

A few more nights passed by like this; an almost mindless pattern of him overseeing the operations of the knights from Zaphias and the search missions for Yuri for the day, and then forcing himself to extreme fatigue both mentally and physically for the night. It persisted until he was able to return to the castle and assume office. It had gone mostly unnoticed, but only for a week, because Sodia and Leblanc noticed the pallor of his face, the sullenness of his eyes, and the shortness of his breath the very morning after a nightmare of himself drowning in the high seas with Yuri's cold and dead body in his arms, held close to his own body, afraid to let him go. Flynn was sure Repede had had a hand (or rather a paw) in this, since he'd been missing from his bed that morning. 

A doctor was promptly sent to him. Thankfully, the Princess didn't know, for she would have ordered him something much heavier than the doctor had prescribed. Perhaps she would have ordered a temporary leave, unlike the rest and recuperation for a couple of days and medical house arrest for the next one and a half weeks. He was then disallowed by the physician from leaving the palace, and so he had to work from his new office there.

News of it definitely reached Her Highness' ears and she immediately sent him with gifts of incense and tea. To clear his mind, she said. It smelled nice, therapeutic even, but then he'd start thinking about how Yuri had always smelled of mint, he'd start thinking of Yuri, and he'd retch and cry pathetically.

With nothing much to do for two days his mind drifted from his empty desk, born of his overwork, to the dull pulsing stinging on his chest, still covered in bandages and gauze from the shot he sustained while protecting Yuri, and wondered if throwing himself between Yuri and Alexei was even worth it. Dangerous thoughts filled his head quite quickly, and when he began pounding on his knee and thigh and biting his lip so hard it drew blood, he was already beginning to think how useless that move to protect his best friend had been, how he probably would have been spared this nightly agony if only he'd let Alexei take his kill and he'd have a body to bury. There would be some certainty unlike the ambiguity of his situation. He could even have someone to throw to the dungeons, someone to take his anger out on as a punching bag, all because he loved Yuri so much-

Flynn stopped there with wide, tearful eyes, and a wet gasp.

Yes. He loved Yuri, and took that for granted, took Yuri himself granted after he pledged to himself he would never do so the first time Yuri's life was spared from the unflinching grip of death. That was why he couldn't feel at rest at all as long as Yuri was missing. That was why, when he'd pulled Yuri in a hug the day the latter left the Knights, left him behind, it had felt so right. That was why, in every single moment he'd thought of Yuri in danger in the recent years, he'd pushed the thoughts away because they always unfailingly frightened him so badly. That was why he always let him go. That was why, when the two of them had been drunk together one time, he recalled kissing Yuri's cheek.

He'd fallen in love with his best friend somewhere along the way and he only realized it when Yuri was most likely dead.

Flynn didn't take that epiphany easily. 

He wept in his despair, tears falling down and his sobs loud and full of pain. He balled his fists around the sheets covering his legs as he cried.

Repede jumped up to Flynn's bed and let out a soft little wuff, nuzzling his face on Flynn's arm and then on his shoulder. 

/**/

Days and nights passed, but Flynn's grief didn't wane. It only sank its claws further in his heart. Work and rest hadn't truly helped at all to take his mind off the love of his life. He hadn't even found much time alone to cry after realizing his own feelings for Yuri.

One night, Flynn was staring out the window up to the sky where the stars were twinkling behind the pulsing dark mass the size of the entire planet. Sometimes the mass parted in places, allowing one to glimpse at the stars beyond, before closing. He was utterly lost, having spent the day in some sort of trance. Despite his gaze set on the emptiness above the skies, he was seeing memories before his eyes. 

That drunken kiss on Yuri's cheek. That hug they had shared before Yuri left him, left the knights. The last few conversations they had, spoken through clenched teeth and raised voices. The wanted poster of Yuri, at which he laughed for literally only one second before exploding in fury the very next. The time when the stone under Yuri's feet collapsed all of a sudden and how he caught him before he even fell down, pulling him back so sharply Yuri ended up lying uncomfortably on top of him. The several times Flynn used his weight to pin down Yuri in many ways like lying on top of him and sitting on his hips. The many games they played as children. The apples they both stole from a Royal Quarter orchard. The knights that chased them after stealing said apples. The death of Flynn's mother. The scar on Yuri's leg that never quite went away even after about ten years.

He always thought of that scar, and the wound on it, because it had been the only other time Yuri truly was about to die, when Little Flynn thought it was the worst thing to happen in his life. He couldn't even remember the name of one of the men who saved Yuri's life. He could only recall the sound of the first two syllables, _Elu_ -something, and the succeeding ones were lost in the abyss of memory, eroded by time's winds.

And, quite unpleasantly, his mind began drifting to darker and darker shadows. What would Yuri say, would he make fun of him? Would he appear on his window and bother him? He imagined Yuri perched on the windowsill, pointing up at the sky and uttering curses at the new thing in the sky.

_Look up, Flynn._

One bright white line streaked through the sky the Adephagos hadn't covered. His focus went from his crumbling sanity to that patch of night, and saw the shooting star brush past the brightest star in the sky. A memory tugged again, this time the memory of Yuri lying down beside him, shoulder-to-shoulder, on top of a roof and narrating him the story of the souls of good people joining the ranks of the stars, and that the dead would perform beautiful feats on the specked blackness as shooting stars when they see their still-living loved ones.

That one shooting star... was that Yuri, truly dead, trying to cheer Flynn up? His nose began feeling stuffy and a tear rolled down from the corner of his eyes.

_I don't want Yuri dead._

Repede whined, pulling Flynn's attention from the shooting star in the sky. His muzzle gingerly nosed his chest, and so Flynn responded by wrapping his arm around the dog's body and petting his face and cheeks. Repede's one eye met his gaze, betraying a certain kind of sadness only animals could ever show.

"I know. You miss Yuri, too."

Another whine, but this time softer.

"He was basically your partner, yeah, buddy?" He ruffled the fur and let Repede settle down on his lap. "I know how it feels. I miss him so much, too." He wiped his wet eyes and face, and for a fleeting moment he wondered if Yuri ever sought Repede for his own sadness. Yuri trusted the pup so much, and he remembered how Yuri had stayed in the stables back then to cry on Repede.

He looked back up in the sky where the shooting star had already disappeared, and abruptly Little Yuri's words echoed in his mind.

_"Quick, before the magic wears off!"_

Flynn closed his eyes, then made a wish, before the magic wears off.

_I want Yuri back._

/**/

Another two days passed. The Princess Estellise entered his office, and barely a moment passed when she spoke. Her eyes were a bit too sunken for a beautiful princess such as her.

"Flynn. I'm sorry to bring this up."

Flynn knew immediately what she meant, and steeled himself with a deep breath. "Yes?"

"You know everyone's been looking for Yuri. Judith and Karol. Raven. I've tried, too. But lately I've been losing sleep. I find someone with black hair and I think it's Yuri. I keep thinking I see him but I'm not. I'm seeing ghosts... and I'm scared."

"I understand," was his curt answer. He couldn't blame her. He missed Yuri direly, and loved him dearly, and even for someone that, perhaps, didn't hold the same kind of love he held, Yuri had been there for Estelle, brought her out to the real world where she learned so many things she couldn't learn in the confines of a gilded cage, and saved her from her cruelest destiny. It wasn't hard for someone to love a friend like that. His gaze then fell on Repede, lounging on the floor by his desk, and a quick plan formed in his head.

"Hey, Repede," he leaned down to rouse the dog. Repede gave him a snort before looking up to him. "Would you be so kind as to accompany Lady Estellise in her search for Yuri?"

"Flynn...?" Estelle said. Flynn could feel her curious look.

"I believe Repede could help you, milady. He has been my anchor in these trying times."

"But what about you?!"

"He is Yuri's partner. Yuri raised him, and fought with him. For that, he can be one of the best to keep you grounded. Furthermore, since he's a dog, he would not be fooled by appearance." Flynn stroked Repede's head and back, and when he glanced back down, the dog's one eye was glaring back at him. 

'What on earth are you doing?' was the question behind that look. So, he offered the dog a little smile. "I'll be fine, buddy. I promise."

Repede didn't seem satisfied at all, instead it seemed as if he doubted it, and perhaps for good reason. He'd seen Flynn break down in private. Repede did spare one look at Estelle, like he was truly considering the suggestion. 

A minute passed and the loyal dog made his decision. He stood up from the floor, put both his front paws on Flynn's lap, stretched up, gave his cheek one affectionate lick, and then strutted to a very surprised Estelle.

"Repede..." Estelle sunk to her knees and raised her arms to hug, but partway through she stopped, recalling that the dog didn't exactly like her, but Repede pressed his muzzle forward to rest on her shoulder. Her arms then wrapped around his warm body, grasping at and fluffing his fur.

"I promise to send you a letter when I find Yuri."

They left soon afterwards with a small goodbye, leaving Flynn alone in his office. Alone with only thought and memory. Completely, utterly, saddeningly alone.

_What are you going to do now?_

Flynn sat back down on his chair and, a bit oddly, had a clear enough mind to view the new files that came from his knights. His eyes settled on a dossier created by Lieutenant Leblanc, about the fledgling settlement in Hypionia for the displaced residents of Zaphias.

/**/

He was in Capua Nor now, watching over the harbor where some of the last scout ships for Yuri have finally docked, before returning to his desk in his temporary office. He picked up a pamphlet entitled 'Capua Nor Citizen Satisfaction Report'. His eyes scanned the text on it, only able to note 'good responses' and 'high satisfaction of life' before he heard two firm knocks on his door.

"Sir." It was all Flynn had heard from Sodia before a couple stacks of paper was dumped on a tray on his desk. He looked up wearily from the piece of paper in his hand.

"Ah, there's more," Flynn muttered nigh-inaudibly.

"These are all quite urgent, sir."

"Which ones are these?"

"They are calls for more reinforcements from the Schwann Brigade in Hypionia, sir, plus reports from Aspian mages about Zaude. There are also ongoing operations by the Balfour Brigade on rooting out the remaining supporters of the previous Commandant..." 

As his second-in-command tattled on about those new things, most of it unfortunately went into one ear and out the other.

_What's that, Flynn? Losing focus over me? What about the people?_

"... sir?"

"Oh, apologies, Sodia."

"Have you not been resting again?" Her tone was soft, her brows pulled down, as if she were ready to kick him back to the castle and indirectly order another medical house arrest.

"I have. Don't worry. I just feel under the weather today." He gestured vaguely to the window. "It hasn't been comfortable in all this heat."

_My birthday's in a few weeks, remember?_

"It's autumn-" She cut it off there, shaking her head. "Captain... it would be much better for everyone if you were to rest."

He eyed her. In her words were the traces of an obligation veiled behind a suggestion. She was right, of course. But it was so difficult, with Yuri his love likely dead, and his voice echoing faintly in the background noise of his head.

"I am doing my best, Sodia. I have rested."

She pursed her lips at him. Doubt.

"I know there is no one that can vouch for me, but I promise you, I have slept well the previous night and will continue to do so."

"It's just... you cannot be placed in medical house arrest so soon after your..."

"I know. My knights wouldn't respect an Acting Commandant who cannot seem to shoulder the weight placed on them."

"It only worked last time because you had had a grave injury, sir. D-does it still bother you?"

He absentmindedly rubbed at his chest, no longer bandaged but still pulsing with a small stinging pain. "It no longer is debilitating. I believe I can fight again."

"You might still not be in shape for all this work..."

"And that's where you come in." He smiled at her. "I am not able to do this all alone. You will be my assistant and my closest confidant. I trust you with all my confidence that, together, you and I will be able to reform the Knights."

It was highly peculiar, though, that instead of the pride he'd hoped to instill, he found... shame? Her eyes averted, again for the smallest of seconds like she always did whenever she was around Yuri, but it was devoid of malice. Her shoulders tensed as well.

"Yes, sir," was her delayed reply.

"I can trust you, right, Sodia?"

She did the unthinkable: she fidgeted. All sorts of questions about his own integrity sprang to mind.

"Sodia?"

"Yes, sir."

"Are there also things in your mind?"

"Yes... but they are not important now." She snapped back to attention. "Sir, before I forget, there are two things I would like to bring to light. Firstly, the Hypionia project might be worth a visit and take special attention to due to the small ratio of knight to citizen. Secondly, I have received news that mail may not arrive sooner than we expect them to be. We do not know how long the delay would be."

"No matter. It can't be helped. And thank you for the suggestion regarding Hypionia. I shall be there by the end of the week." The sudden topic change somewhat bothered him, but he waved it off. Something might just be on her mind, something personal.

"When will you sail for Hypionia, sir?"

"If what you say is true, that there are a low number of knights to protect the civilians, perhaps three days will suffice for arranging a reassignment of platoons to strengthen the force, and I will want to inspect the situation to make sure no problems are present."

"I agree, sir."

"And, Sodia, I apologize for... spacing out is an apt but quite correct term."

If she was annoyed, she didn't show it. Instead she only nodded. "If it helps, sir, it happens to the best of us. And the only things you missed are that His Highness Ioder has just returned to the palace after negotiations with the Guild Union and that Her Highness Estellise is supposed to be on her way to Zaphias as well. She should be arriving in two days, given that she doesn't detour."

_Oh trust me, she will detour._

He chuckled. "I just believe she will."

/**/

In the recent past, Flynn had been forced to believe Yuri was going to be missing forever, and therefore would have been good as dead in just a handful of days. Some wishes were not to be fulfilled, it seemed. But for the first time in weeks, Yuri was shoved to the very back of his mind as hordes of monsters were attacking the civilian refugees in Hypionia. As he fought with his knights and directed them to formations, the only thought about his dead beloved Yuri he could manage was that Yuri must have been proud of him, wherever he was. Proud of him for doing all he could to protect the helpless, just like they promised. It was fuel for him, in some sad way. He had to make Yuri proud. He made it his mantra, so off he and the knights fought, but the monsters were just too many. His body was burning and aching, but he needed to fight and stay alive for the good of the people.

_For the good of the people._

He didn't really expect, though, the arrows that felled their targets, a tinge of azure piercing the air and Repede suddenly materializing in the haze of dust and earth, his dagger in his mouth and pressing forward to attack more monsters. 

Seeing Repede was, for Flynn, an odd experience of thinking too many things at once and not thinking at all. Half of his thoughts went to Estelle, to the time Repede began accompanying her, and Yuri was dead-

And then, from behind him, he heard his voice.

"You alive?"

Flynn whipped around to find the very real apparition of Yuri, smirking at him like he hadn't been missing for weeks. What was he supposed to say? He pondered on what to tell him, but he just blurted out, "Yuri! What are you doing here?!"

The next few moments were vague and indistinct, with Yuri just talking to him and brandishing a device in front of him, with that handsome smirk on his face. Flynn couldn't love help but think, _I love you so much._

"Come on, it's us!" Yuri assured when Flynn expressed his doubts, and hearing that was a happy melody, lifting his mood and energizing his spirit.

And without much planning at all the two of them plus Repede ran off to the thick of the fight, right into the horde's heart itself, laughing as they fought with fire in their hearts. Yuri blathering about things and teasing Flynn for things did take away his concentration in the way that it made him jump in jubilation whenever something came out of that mouth. He thought he was never going to hear his voice again, was that too much to wish for?

And then whatever Vesperia Number One was, it obliterated every monster they'd been fighting once it was activated. With the air clear, with the high of the fight, and with the wonderful news that his best friend was alive all this time, Flynn launched himself at Yuri, catching the latter completely off-guard, and then wrapping him with his arms. 

"Woah, Commandant!" Yuri squawked in his embrace. Normally Yuri calling him by whatever rank he managed to nab was irritating to Flynn's ears, yet Flynn held onto him so tightly at that sound that it was probably hard for Yuri to breathe. He missed being teased and bullied by his friend. Teasing and bullying was better than Yuri gone forever. Yuri wheezed, the metal armor digging into Yuri's sore flesh probably not helping things, but Flynn didn't budge.

"Yuri," he breathed out in Yuri's shoulder, trying to stop his imminent happy sobbing.

For some reason Yuri couldn't even make a witty retort, or a joke, or force his mouth to say anything. He just simply leaned into his friend's warmth and closed his eyes for a little while. His head rested on Flynn's fair hair. And when Flynn had decided to slacken his grip on Yuri and pull back to see his face, he put on a fleeting snarl that gave way to tearful relief.

"Where have you been, you bastard?!" Flynn half-shouted, trying to sound angry, but it didn't quite come out that way, instead croaked out in a thick voice. His tears shortly broke through and fell in droves. "I thought you were dead, Yuri!"

"Went swimming," was Yuri's quiet answer, his eyes trailed away and mouth pursed. His nose tingled and gained a hue of pink. "I'm sorry, Flynn."

Flynn opted to crush Yuri again one last time. "Don't be sorry. Just... y-you're... never going swimming again. I'm filing a restraining order against the ocean," he tried to joke, though not to make anyone laugh, but to banish lingering dread. His eyes still leaked tears, but he smiled against Yuri's hair.

Yuri couldn't say or do much to that, except chuckle a bit and finally give Flynn his own tight embrace. "I'm sure you can try." Even though his voice was thick with emotion, he was warm, full of life, that the blond had to draw in a happy breath. Flynn just laughed against Yuri's shoulder as his mind was filled with the reassuring scent of Yuri, the sounds of Yuri's breathing and voice, and the feel of his body. Relief worth more than the world washed away the last remnants of constant pain and anguish. 

They remained there in each other's embrace in the middle of the field, until Yuri's friends began walking towards them.


End file.
